diff --git a/gameplay.js b/gameplay.js
index 32cf1d5..13efeee 100644
--- a/gameplay.js
+++ b/gameplay.js
@@ -683,26 +683,29 @@ export function deliverTin() {
              icon: WEAPONS[id].icon, color: UI.warm, t: TUNE.tinCardT };
 }
 
-// ---- TEST MODE. Triple-tap the scoreboard. A sandbox for trying the new content without playing
-// twenty games to reach it: a steady medium wave and every barrel weapon on the rack, topped back up
-// as you spend it. It does NOT stop the run — games, duels and bosses all still happen underneath;
-// it only overrides the difficulty dials and keeps the rack stocked.
+// ---- TEST MODE, the back room's WEAPON TEST (five taps on the splash logo — it used to be a
+// triple-tap on the scoreboard). A sandbox for trying the new content without playing twenty games
+// to reach it: a steady medium wave and EVERY weapon on the rack, topped back up as you spend it.
+// It does NOT stop the run — games, duels and bosses all still happen underneath; it only overrides
+// the difficulty dials and keeps the rack stocked.
 export function toggleTestMode() {
   G.testMode = !G.testMode;
   if (!G.testMode) { G.flash = { text: 'TEST MODE OFF', t: 1.4 }; return false; }
   if (G.mode === 'tennis') forceZombies();      // no zombies to test against in a tennis match
   stockTestRack();
   G.flash = { text: 'TEST MODE', t: 1.6 };
-  showModal({ title: 'TEST MODE', color: UI.pink,
-    body: ['A STEADY CROWD, MEDIUM SPEED', 'EVERY BARREL WEAPON, KEPT FULL',
-           '', 'TRIPLE-TAP THE SCOREBOARD AGAIN TO STOP'] });
+  showModal({ title: 'WEAPON TEST', color: UI.pink,
+    body: ['A STEADY CROWD, MEDIUM SPEED', 'EVERY WEAPON, KEPT FULL',
+           '', 'IT RUNS UNTIL THE RUN DOES'] });
   return true;
 }
 
-// every barrel weapon on the rack at full stock. Called on entry and then kept topped up in update,
-// so a burst you commit (which spends the whole tin) is available again a moment later.
+// EVERY weapon on the rack at full stock — the four tins as well as the four barrel weapons, which
+// is eight of the nine slots. It stocked only the barrel weapons before, on a screen called the
+// weapon test. Called on entry and then kept topped up in update, so a burst you commit (which
+// spends the whole tin) is available again a moment later.
 function stockTestRack() {
-  for (const id of Object.keys(BARREL_WEAPONS)) {
+  for (const id of Object.keys(WEAPONS)) {
     const have = G.rack.find(e => e.id === id);
     if (have) have.n = Math.max(have.n, WEAPONS[id].tin);
     else if (G.rack.length < RACK_MAX) G.rack.push({ id, n: WEAPONS[id].tin });
diff --git a/index.html b/index.html
index 70ec242..df2f806 100644
--- a/index.html
+++ b/index.html
@@ -118,13 +118,15 @@
   /* ONE overlay, four panels, swapped by #intro[data-stage]. Keeping the backdrop and the card frame
      alive across every screen is the point — a screen that unmounts the whole overlay flashes the
      court through between menus. */
-  #splash, #setup, #stats, #ranks, #newbest { display: none; }
+  #splash, #setup, #stats, #ranks, #newbest, #secret, #bosses { display: none; }
   #intro[data-stage="splash"] #splash { display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex: 1; }
   /* flex COLUMN, not block: it is what lets the footer's margin-top:auto reach the bottom of a
      screen whose content does not fill it */
   #intro[data-stage="setup"]  #setup,
   #intro[data-stage="stats"]  #stats,
   #intro[data-stage="ranks"]  #ranks,
+  #intro[data-stage="secret"] #secret,
+  #intro[data-stage="bosses"] #bosses,
   #intro[data-stage="newbest"] #newbest { display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex: 1;
                                         animation: drop 0.3s ease-out; }
   /* the overlay is HIDDEN during play, not removed: a restart puts it straight back, and the
@@ -180,6 +182,19 @@
   #tours button.on { border-color: var(--acid); background: rgba(188,212,85,0.09); }
   #tours img { height: 88px; width: auto; display: block; image-rendering: pixelated; }
   #tours b { font: 400 11px Silkscreen, monospace; color: var(--cream); letter-spacing: 0.5px; }
+  /* THE BOSS PICKER (back room). Two columns of portraits, because you pick a boss by looking at
+     him — the tile is mostly art. Same plate as the tour tiles above; the grid is what makes ten
+     of them fit on a phone. */
+  #bossList { display: grid; grid-template-columns: 1fr 1fr; gap: 8px; padding-bottom: 14px; }
+  #bossList button { display: flex; flex-direction: column; align-items: center; gap: 5px;
+                     padding: 8px 6px 10px; background: var(--panel); border: 2px solid var(--line);
+                     color: inherit; font: inherit; cursor: pointer;
+                     -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; }
+  #bossList img { height: 78px; width: auto; display: block; image-rendering: pixelated; }
+  #bossList b { font: 400 9px Silkscreen, monospace; color: var(--cream); letter-spacing: 0.5px;
+                text-align: center; line-height: 1.35; }
+  #bossList i { font: 400 8px Silkscreen, monospace; color: var(--dim); font-style: normal;
+                letter-spacing: 1px; }
   /* a row, not a stacked tile: three 3:2 tiles stacked fill a phone twice over, and the art still
      reads at this size. -webkit-tap-highlight-color kills iOS's blue flash over the pixel art. */
   #courtList button.court { display: flex; align-items: center; gap: 11px; width: 100%;
@@ -343,6 +358,23 @@
       <h3>BEST SINGLE RUN<span>KILLS · GAMES</span></h3>
       <div id="rkList"></div>
     </div>
+    <!-- THE BACK ROOM. Five taps on the logo (main.js) and nothing else — no button anywhere hints
+         at it, which is the whole point: it replaced a triple-tap on the in-play scoreboard that
+         players kept tripping by accident. -->
+    <div id="secret">
+      <div class="hdr"><button class="chev" id="scBack">&lsaquo;</button><h2>BACK ROOM</h2></div>
+      <div class="foot bare">
+        <button class="btn big" id="scWeapons">WEAPON TEST</button>
+        <button class="btn big" id="scBosses">BOSS TEST</button>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <!-- one tile per chapter boss, built from config.bossArt in main.js: adding a design to the
+         roster puts it on this screen and never touches this markup -->
+    <div id="bosses">
+      <div class="hdr"><button class="chev" id="bsBack">&lsaquo;</button><h2>BOSS TEST</h2></div>
+      <h3>PICK A CHAPTER<span>FULL ARSENAL</span></h3>
+      <div id="bossList"></div>
+    </div>
     <!-- shown only when a run beats your own best kill count — see main.js askName -->
     <div id="newbest">
       <div class="mid">
@@ -359,6 +391,6 @@
     </div>
   </div>
 </div>
-<script type="module" src="main.js?v=139"></script>
+<script type="module" src="main.js?v=140"></script>
 </body>
 </html>
diff --git a/main.js b/main.js
index 9a51458..28176ed 100644
--- a/main.js
+++ b/main.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 // Module map: config (tuning/constants) · state (mutable game state) · gameplay (logic/update)
 //             render (camera/drawing) · input (keys/touch) · audio (sfx/umpire) · panel (T tuning UI)
 
-import { TUNE, COURTS, TOURS, EATEN_RESTART } from './config.js';
+import { TUNE, COURTS, TOURS, EATEN_RESTART, WEAPONS, bossArt } from './config.js';
 import { P, O, ball, score, G, setupPoint, selectCourt, selectTour } from './state.js';
 import { update, restartRun, keyPressed, solveShot, inServeBox, inCourt, forceZombies, splatPoint, deliverTin, selectWeapon, grantWeapon, showModal, dismissModal, startDuel, resolveInterlude, flickTarget, startBossFight, endBossFight , toggleTestMode } from './gameplay.js';
 import { fitViewport, render, proj, RES, SPRV, LOAD } from './render.js';
@@ -186,8 +186,55 @@ document.getElementById('nbSend').addEventListener('click', async () => {
 });
 nbName.addEventListener('keydown', e => { if (e.key === 'Enter') document.getElementById('nbSend').click(); });
 document.getElementById('cStart').addEventListener('click', start);
-for (const id of ['sBack', 'stBack', 'rkBack'])
+for (const id of ['sBack', 'stBack', 'rkBack', 'scBack'])
   document.getElementById(id).addEventListener('click', () => go('splash'));
+document.getElementById('bsBack').addEventListener('click', () => go('secret'));
+
+// ---- THE BACK ROOM: five taps on the logo, and nothing on the screen says so. It replaces the
+// triple-tap on the in-play scoreboard, which sat on top of the miss-log tap and which the
+// testteam kept opening by accident — a cheat you can trip mid-run is a bug.
+let logoTaps = [];
+document.querySelector('#splash .mid').addEventListener('pointerdown', () => {
+  const now = performance.now();
+  logoTaps = logoTaps.filter(t => now - t < 2000);
+  logoTaps.push(now);
+  if (logoTaps.length >= 5) { logoTaps = []; go('secret'); }
+});
+
+// Both entries drop you into a REAL run rather than a special mode — same update loop, same
+// scoring, same death — which is the only way a test tells you anything about the game.
+// This is laserScene's trick: force the turn and then step the transition out in one go, because
+// the cinematic is ten seconds you did not come here to watch.
+function intoSplatter() {
+  if (G.mode === 'tennis') forceZombies();
+  for (let i = 0; i < 900 && G.mode !== 'splatter'; i++) update(1 / 60);
+  G.modal = null; G.horde = null; G.interlude = false; G.changeover = 0; G.clearing = false;
+  G.mgT = 0; G.gunId = null; G.beam = null; G.hp = G.hpMax = TUNE.playerHp;
+  zombies.length = 0; shots.length = 0; pellets.length = 0;
+  score.server = 'P'; setupPoint();
+}
+document.getElementById('scWeapons').addEventListener('click', () => {
+  start(); intoSplatter(); toggleTestMode();
+});
+document.getElementById('scBosses').addEventListener('click', () => go('bosses'));
+
+// The list is built by ASKING bossArt which design each chapter gets, so it can never drift from
+// what the run actually spawns — including the champion sitting on chapter 10 rather than 7.
+const bossList = document.getElementById('bossList');
+for (let ch = 1; ch <= 10; ch++) {
+  const art = bossArt(ch), b = document.createElement('button');
+  b.innerHTML = `<img src="assets/${art.walk[0]}.png?v=${SPRV}" alt="">`
+    + `<b>${art.name}</b><i>CHAPTER ${ch} · GAME ${ch * TUNE.bossEvery}</i>`;
+  b.addEventListener('click', () => {
+    start(); intoSplatter();
+    G.runGames = ch * TUNE.bossEvery;   // the roster, the HUD and the spawn ramp all read this one
+    G.bossDue = 0;                      // ...and the schedule must not queue a SECOND fight behind it
+    for (const id of Object.keys(WEAPONS)) grantWeapon(id, TUNE.wCap); // full arsenal, every tin
+    G.weapon = 0;
+    startBossFight(ch);
+  });
+  bossList.appendChild(b);
+}
 // the three period tabs are one listener on the strip — the button carries the period in data-p
 document.getElementById('stTabs').addEventListener('click', e => {
   const b = e.target.closest('button'); if (!b) return;
@@ -278,27 +325,14 @@ const maybeRestart = () => {
 cv.addEventListener('pointerdown', maybeRestart);
 addEventListener('keydown', maybeRestart);
 
-// hidden shortcut: three taps on the SCOREBOARD opens test mode (a medium wave plus every barrel
-// weapon — see gameplay.toggleTestMode). The umpire triple-tap (skip to zombie mode) is REMOVED:
-// the testteam found it, and a cheat a player can trip by accident is a bug. T.forceZombies()
-// still exists for the console.
-let boardTaps = [];
+// A tap on the SCOREBOARD toggles the miss-log overlay, and that is now all it does. The triple-tap
+// that opened test mode has moved to the back room on the splash (see below): a cheat you can trip
+// by accident mid-run is a bug, and this one sat on the one thing you tap to read the log.
 cv.addEventListener('pointerdown', e => {
   const r = cv.getBoundingClientRect();
   const x = (e.clientX - r.left) / r.width * (cv.width / RES);  // logical coords
   const y = (e.clientY - r.top) / r.height * (cv.height / RES);
-  if (x >= 6 && x <= 138 && y >= 6 && y <= 36) { // the scoreboard
-    const now = performance.now();
-    boardTaps = boardTaps.filter(t => now - t < 1600);
-    boardTaps.push(now);
-    if (boardTaps.length >= 3) {
-      boardTaps = [];
-      // taps one and two already toggled the miss-log twice, so it is back where it started —
-      // this third one must NOT toggle it again, or every trip through test mode leaves the
-      // overlay on behind you
-      toggleTestMode();
-    } else G.logShow = !G.logShow;                // a single tap is still the miss-log overlay
-  }
+  if (x >= 6 && x <= 138 && y >= 6 && y <= 36) G.logShow = !G.logShow; // the scoreboard
 });